Sensitivity Reader
a short story from the perspective of a sensitivity reader
Happy day after May Day! Here’s a very short story I wrote to submit to a journal 2 or 3 years ago (unpublished). It’s lowkirkenuinely about WORK & I enjoyed revisiting. I fear it perhaps captures a moment, and was in the continuum of interests which led to Principal Boy. General updates and thoughts at the end <3
Enjoy!
SENSITIVITY READER
An expensive car chase between 2 of the most famous transgender people on earth.
Camera tightens on transgender person as they make quips over the steering wheel. This is the opening sequence, so it needs to show us this person is trans because film is a visual medium. Before the inciting incident the camera tilts to show top surgery scars, visible through white tank top made transparent with glycerin sweat. The scars offer a little intimacy to the viewer - it’s like they donated to the crowdfund. But these scars were paid for with residuals from famous transgender person’s child acting career, after a lengthy legal battle with their parents, then digitally enhanced by a group of non union VFX artists.
The car with the second transgender person flips up and rolls sideways across a freeway (actually the M8 as it slices through Glasgow) barrelling over lesser cars with lesser people in them. The actor is tossed around and groans and moans in an imperceptibly expensively trained voice. The car lands with a metallic crunch, the score swells, and she drags herself from the wreckage, tuck in place. The brand deal she secured from this part enabled her to book in for lower surgery but she pushed the date when her agent urged her to take a 3 episode arc on an Apple TV show, then the strikes started. A hand extends from outside the frame. It’s the other transgender person. He pulls her into the centre of the frame, the most radical action he could take, and they kiss. It has all the right passions of Old Hollywood because this man is gay, and standing on a box.
Vin Diesel walks into the shot and places a gnarled hand on his shoulder. Even at the height of fantasy and both of their respective careers, they are not the protagonists.
Nevertheless, lots of people praised their inclusion, including many transgender people who hate eachother’s films. Parts of it were even written by transgender people whose careers and class backgrounds left them relatively ill-equipped to speak to the most pressing issues facing transgender people today, such as what to do in a car crash. Instead, they ended up airing many petty intra-community grievances, and ideas built up from being part of too many corporate inclusivity initiatives. For example, it probably seemed strange to audiences at the suburban multiplex that the latest Fast and Furious featured a t4t sex scene wherein the fagdyke boy was penetrated by the female penis of his dykefag girlfriend. If nothing else, these just didn’t seem like the type of transgender people who would be part of a multi racial illegal car racing heist team. But what do I know? I don’t know how the subaltern fucks, I just work here. (If you know, please reach out. I could get you a consulting fee).
Vin Diesel had read the script, as had the director, as had the other screenwriters, as had the executives, as had I. They all thought it was pretty weird, but how were they supposed to know how we did it or not? They thought it was weird anyway. It is weird, and our job is to normalise it through the most expensive and powerful machines of empathy generation known to man.
The week the movie came out my own mother called me and she said - I love you. I love you and I understand now, and I’m sorry.
It went something like this:
MOM
I saw your movie
ME
Oh?
Pause
MOM
I liked it…I…I told the cashier
(laughs)
My…my…daught-
Pause
MOM (CONT’D)
my…child worked on this movie.
Pause
MOM (CONT’D)
well, I’m very proud of you…son
ME
Thanks Mom
MOM
Are- are you still there?
Pause
MOM (CONT’D)
You do know I love you, don’t you? I…I know I haven’t always been-
ME
It’s ok Mom
MOM
No, no…it’s not. I…I’m so sorry
Pause
MOM
I think it was the movie, I didn’t…I didn’t understand before but that boy was so wonderful…when he added the rocket launcher to the suspension of that SUV…I thought, well, if my Megan can be like that then what the hell am I so worried about?
(laughs)
ME
It’s Luke, Mom
MOM
Like Granddad?
ME
Yeah, like Granddad.
MOM
Oh…Luke…that’s wonderful
ME
I love you, Mom.
MOM
I love you, Luke
END.
Updates
Pre-order Jaw Filler online - the second print run is ready to be sent out so you shouldn’t have long a wait <3
If you need it quicker buy Jaw Filler at the Page Masters Book Fair in New Cross 2-3rd May!!
season 2 of Virgin Island j dropped, flagged to me by Ana & gay cousin El. I proselytised a bit too much about season 1 because I found the sad awkward men endearing, perhaps due to my limited interactions with them irl. Then I reflected that giving a bunch of men (even if autistic, lacking self esteem etc) a milfy fuck toy to validate them is perhaps not a good idea. Giving anyone this asset is not a good model for future relationships! On the plus side, loads of the women went gay and one of the ‘guys’ went non binary, yay! But this isn’t exactly a fix for straight male angst - we can’t all be women and nonbinary (sound off in the comments!) and the manosphere has exploded even more since last year. My instagram reel algorithm (which is usually tap choreo and corny lesbian memes) can’t protect me anymore. Thankfully only the 2 sweetie pie (ish) guys returned for the reunion ep so my watch was not very fraught. But I remembered the troubling guy who felt entitled to sex with his sex surrogate (I mean, I can see the confusion) and had to learn to take a no. A positive lesson, extremely troubling to watch! And what will happen when the participants are unleashed on people who aren’t paid and trained in woo woo sex studies? It made me feel sad about people’s first stumblings in to sexuality, the default hostility, bravado, shame and lack of communication that mark many a first (straight, but not always) sexual encounter. The series does nothing to debunk the concept of ‘virginity’ itself which is kind of hilarious to watch - they have the boys out here learning how to eat pussy then the 2 power milfs being like ‘yes, you are still a virgin’. Excited to find out if they’ve innovated there - this year certainly has more gay people for better or worse!
I am feeling out what works for me re: substack - don’t want to inundate you with posts and I certainly don’t want to be cranking them out either. I’ll probs land on once a month or max once a fortnight. Unless I find myself with too many opinions about Virgin Island to contain…
On a day like today (yesterday) consider making steps towards organising in your workplace (even if it seems small, insignificant, scary, annoying or boring!) <3